My Relationship with Self-Help Books

Secrets of Successful Teens by Adam Khoo

My first "self-help" book was Secrets of Successful Teens by Adam Khoo. It was about how to take charge of your life, make many friends and get along with parents. I loved the book because Adam shared a lot about his rocky teenage years, where he was failing all the subjects in school and had a bad relationship with his dad. I first read it when I was 13, and the book really spoke to me. It was then when I learnt about setting goals, time management and how to study well. When I had finished the book, I reread some of the chapters whenever I needed guidelines. It was my handbook to survive and thrive in my teenage years. 

Secrets of Successful Teens was the book that made me believe that self-help books could really change my life. Today, I would say I was not quite right, but not entirely wrong either. 

I have had my fair share of self help books: The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, How to Win Friends and Influence People, Think and Grow Rich etc. (typical titles you see in bookstores). About three years ago, I was an absolute fan of self help books. During that period of time, I was feeling a bit lost in life, unsure of what I wanted for my future. I thought drowning myself in the sea of self-help would shine some light and pull me back on track again. I believed that if I read those books, I would unlock the secrets to a successful life, have many friends and be happy. I read through them, one after another, hoping that when I was done, I would hold the key to success.

After a few months, I was still the same me. Disgusted and disappointed at the books, I put them back into the cupboard. 

I never read a page of self help material after that. 

Last week, as I was tidying my cupboard, I came across Atomic Habits by James Clear. I decided to give it another go, because I felt that I had not done this book justice back then. In the following days, I read a few pages every evening, underlining useful points along the way. Surprisingly, I found the contents refreshing and they resonated with me. "Wow, this is quite true, I should take note of it more." This was one of the recurring thoughts that popped in my mind when I was reading. 

I came to the conclusion that it is important that we read the right books at the right time. Reading a book that teaches you how to handle your time and work doesn't help at all when you don't even know what you want to do with your time. I cannot depend on self-help books to figure out my life; they can only help me when I am already in motion. 

With that in mind, I might revisit my old books and see what gems I can find in there.